But A Single Drop of Rain

Where, oh where, would I be without my car?  Without my vroom, vroom, beep, beep?  Trapped at home, of course.  And living in (at least a semi) rural area, that would most definitely not be good. 

Tell me that I can't drive but we need milk, eggs and cheese and, later, after I take your head off, I will let you know in no uncertain terms that you can damm well get the groceries yourself. 

The kids need to be picked up? Do it yourself. 

Tell me I really should get out there and do something to help support the family and ... Yeah, you get the picture.

Of course, I couldn't even imagine hearing such foolishness in the first place.  Let alone listening to it. What are you? Nuts or something?  Get out of the way.  That's my car, bought and (some day it will be) paid for.

So which is it? Have I grown up in a culture of entitlement or are those countries where women aren't "allowed" to drive stuck in the dark ages?  Maybe even the pre-dark ages?  Yeah, I'm not even gonna dignify that one with an answer.

And yet, given all the atrocities of how women are treated in Saudi Arabia, apparently some would ask if this is the battle that should fought at the moment.

To which I reply ... Hell if I know. But who are we even think we have the right to judge that?

I mean I can't even begin to imagine what life must be like for women over there. True, the driving issue may not be the sexiest one of the lot but you and I aren't over there fighting any of those of other battles, are we?

I think we have to trust the women who live there, those that have the courage, the connections and the strength of their convictions to judge and decide what issue might be the tipping point for "the Kingdom". 

Yes, I know this very same thing was tried four years ago without results. Or at least not what you and I might consider results. It's easy enough to argue, perhaps quite legitimately, that the only "result" achieved by in 2007 was to scare women back into compliance. 

But that was a different time.  And we don't know what has and is going on behind the scenes. Perhaps, just perhaps, this time things will be different. 

After all, as a wise woman once said, the "rain starts with a single drop".

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

~ Margaret Mead

The Beatitudes for Special People - Part Deux

Blessed are you that never bids us "hurry up" and more blessed are you that do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.

Blessed are you who take time to listen to defective speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere, we can be understood.

Blessed are you who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your companionship we find havens of relaxation.

Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new ventures, for our failures will be outweighed by times we surprise ourselves and you.

Blessed are you who ask for our help, for our greatest need is to be needed.

Blessed are you when by all these things you assure us that the thing that makes us individuals is not our peculiar muscles, nor our wounded nervous system, but is the God-given self that no infirmity can confine.

Blessed are those who realize that I am human and don't expect me to be saintly just because I am disabled.

Blessed are those who pick things up without being asked.

Blessed are those who understand that sometimes I am weak and not just lazy.

Blessed are those who forget my disability of the body and see the shape of my soul.

Blessed are those who see me as a whole person, unique and complete, and not as a "half" and one of God's mistakes.

Blessed are those who love me just as I am without wondering what I might have been like.

Blessed are my friends on whom I depend, for they are the substance and joy of my life!

~ Marjorie Chappell

HUH?!

Which would pretty well sum up my reaction upon reading this article in today's edition of the Chronicle Herald which portended to delve into the "culture clash" between the Western world's child protection systems and various religious and cultural minorities. Due to the writer taking a major left turn halfway through the article.

After noting that "not one of the world’s major religions sanctions child abuse" [ED. A point open to debate - after all, if female genital mutilation isn't a form of child abuse, then what, pray tell, might be?], that "bridging the cultural gap in western countries would be easier if professionals, such as doctors who are compelled to report child abuse to the authorities, were exposed more often to people of diverse backgrounds", the reality that many medical graduates have never met a Muslim, a Sikh or a Sunni and that UNESCO reports some 250 million youngsters worldwide "suffer child abuse in the form of slavery, bondage, serfdom . . . child pornography, prostitution and yes, female genital mutilation", completely out of left field, at least for this reader, the article goes on to note that in Canada, "the biggest legal controversies involving child protection and religion have been well-publicized disputes involving Jehovah’s Witness families and their views on blood transfusion". According to Queen’s University law professor, Nicholas Bala.

My problem with this coverage of the fifth World Congress on Family Law and Children’s Rights in Halifax is the comparison of the issue of blood transfusions in Witness families and child abuse in any form, let alone slavery, bondage, serfdom, child pornography, prostitution and female genital mutilation.

As Mr. Bala rightfully notes, in cases of Witness children younger than age 12, the situation is generally pretty cut and dried - within a blink of the eye, the child is made a ward of the state, given a blood transfusion and then returned to their parents. Although this latter point he somehow neglects to mention. As these children become older (usually ages 12 to 16) and begin to articulate their own religious views, the courts are placed in the position of struggling with how much weight to give to the child’s wishes.

So tell me this, please - although I certainly make no argument against a valid interest in the state intervening if doctors feel a child needs life-saving medical treatment, is this really akin to child abuse?

Unfortunately, I know a fair bit about your more typical child abuse cases (leaving out of the discussion issues such as child slavery, bondage, serfdom, child pornography, prostitution and female genital mutilation for the moment) due to my regular reading and review of such legal decisions in my current work.

Two thoughts come to mind - first, I find it difficult to characterize a parent's refusal to provide consent to a blood transfusion for their child for religious reasons the same way as the horrific stories of neglect and abuse I regularly read and, secondly, trust me when I say that the children involved in such cases where abuse is found are rarely never simply thrown back into the offending parent's care, case closed, end of discussion. At least not these days. Not in this jurisdiction. If a child has been found to have been abused, they are not going back home without, at a minimum, supervision, follow up and the parents having participated in appropriate training and services.

And as far as comparing issues such as child slavery, bondage, serfdom, child pornography, prostitution and female genital mutilation to a parent's refusal of a blood transfusion for their child ... pulleaze. Give. Me. A. Break.

Granted, both child abuse and parental refusal to consent to medical treatment are child protection issues. But in my mind, to lump together child abuse (even in its more common forms of sexual, physical and mental abuse and neglect, let alone it's even more horrendous forms) with the issue of state intervention for children whose parents refuse to consent to a blood transfusion as done in this article is nothing if not disingenuous.

I also can't help but note the article's failure to make any mention of those cases where adult* Witnesses have had blood transfusions forced upon them agains their express wishes (to the extent of doctors tranquilizing patients against their wishes or even having them forcibly restrained). Which, while perhaps not technically relevant in a discussion of child protection issues, might be material in regards to full disclosure on the issue of the interaction between members of this particular religious sect and the medical profession around their medical care.

In the interests of full disclosure, although I most definitely am not a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses, I was raised as one and, as such, am quite familiar with both their beliefs and their history.

* See para 26 of the linked decision

No Dogma, No Doctrine, Just Faith

Which is what I am sorely in need of at the moment.

At first I thought that perhaps I had been so focused on rejecting anything even remotely resembling dogma or doctrine in my life for so long that I had cast aside faith at the same time. But then I realized that wasn't quite so. That irregardless of dogma or doctrine, I have no faith. None.

That wasn't always so. As a pre-teen, likely into my early teen years, I had a very strong faith. A very strong belief in and love of God; a deep, sure knowledge of what He wanted from me and an absolute desire to live my life that way. And, in return, I knew the final result. I knew that He promised would come to pass. Wasn't life simple then?

But that was before I drifted away from the Witnesses. Away from the Witnesses, but towards nothing else, I guess.

Yes, I believe in God. Yes, I believe that He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to earth to die for our sins. Yes, I believe the Bible is God's word. The problem is that it all seems to end there. That although I do, honestly, *believe* all that, it seems to have no connection to my life. That what I know with certainly in my "head" does not resonate in my "heart".

Okay, it may not be quite that simple, not quite that cut and dried, but it's close enough for the purposes of this post.

As a child, I was taught that "Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for". And yet, over the course of the last several years, I have come to believe that hope is bad for the soul.

Born out of the Blue Jay's health issues, I learned that when you actually begin to hope for something, you truly begin to believe that it might just be true. And then, when you find out otherwise, it's devastating. But if you have no hope, if you expect nothing, anything good that comes your way is gravy. A blessing. Something to be treasured and appreciated. All up the up, none of the down.

When Mom was so sick in the hospital last year, I struggled with the concept of "hope". Or, more accurately, with the idea that there could be some form of good, some form of hope, to be found in the situation. That there was even any point, any value, in looking for any.

I recall reading one of the books the palliative care team provided me, entitled "Finding Hope" and mulling over a blog post on the subject. The book that promised to help me find and nurture hope in my life came up short.

But to cut to the chase (a little too late for that, I suppose), the bottom line is that I have no faith that I will ever see my Mom again. It's not just that I don't believe I will ever see her again. It's that I believe I will never see her again.

And that ... that just hurts. Indescribably so.

In a few weeks, we will take a trip out West to visit my brother, do some traveling and then, finally, bury my Mom's ashes next to Dad. And as that time draws closer, I am left with a renewed sense of overwhelming longing and loss.

This, my friends, is not closure. It's agony, pure and simple.

It's life without hope faith.

On A Roll

Found another quiz, this one about religious and spiritual beliefs.

The results aren't really that surprising, I suppose. Brought up as a Jehovah's Witness, I started drifting away from that in my late teens and left it completely in university.

Which left me in a rather strange place, where although I no longer believe in what the Witnesses believe and really have no use for organized religion, period, there are certain beliefs so fundamental to the way I was brought up that I can't accept any different belief in those areas. There's not that many, only a couple really, but they pretty well rule out the possibility of me even considering any other religion.

Which, with the passing of Mom, I find myself more confused about what, exactly, I do believe and suddenly I find myself with a need to figure it out. A need which, if it existed before, I was able to simply ignore. Now, not so much. So I find myself in a quizzical place at the moment when it comes to the area of religion and spirituality.

1. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (100%)
2. Jehovah's Witness (87%)
3. Baha'i Faith (82%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%)
5. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (75%)
6. Orthodox Quaker (75%)
7. Orthodox Judaism (73%)
8. Reform Judaism (71%)
9. Islam (71%)
10. Sikhism (68%)
11. Liberal Quakers (68%)
12. Unitarian Universalism (60%)
13. Jainism (57%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (48%)
15. Mahayana Buddhism (46%)
16. Seventh Day Adventist (45%)
17. Theravada Buddhism (45%)
18. New Age (44%)
19. Neo-Pagan (43%)
20. Eastern Orthodox (43%)
21. Roman Catholic (43%)
22. Secular Humanism (43%)
23. Taoism (41%)
24. New Thought (37%)
25. Scientology (33%)
26. Nontheist (31%)
27. Hinduism (28%)

Apparently I haven't strayed too far from my roots and I can accept that. But 100% Mormon .... I don't think so.

H/T to Kris

'Twas The Month Before Christmas

*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*

*'Cause the PC Police had taken away*
*And the reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds, and Wise Men, and Angels and things.*

*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say,*
* December 25th is just a 'Holiday '.*

*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *

*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes of selling books by Franken or Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*

*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas;
it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*

*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in every public matter.*

*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged or discarded*
*The reason for the season, was stopped before it started.*

*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, Listen to me.*

*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday !*

Please, all Christians join together and wish everyone you meet during the holidays a MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christ is �The Reason� for the Christ-mas Season!

H/T to Punky D

The Beatitudes for Special People

Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere, we can be understood.

Blessed are you who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good about ourselves.

Blessed are you who never bid us "hurry up", and more blessed are you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.

Blessed are you who ask for our help and realize our giftedness, for our greatest need is to be needed.

Blessed are you who help with the graciousness of Christ, for we often need the help we can not ask for.

Blessed are you when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability, but our beautiful God-given personhood that no handicapping condition can confine.

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for your understanding and love have opened doors for us to enjoy life to its fullest and you have helped us believe in ourselves and valued and gifted people.

H/T to Doorkeeper

Extremes

I dropped the Blue Jay off at the Pre-school Camp this morning. She is going to be a Junior Leader at the Camp for this week. Something we've tried in the past with varying success. Although she loves being around and playing with little kids, she has on occasion been known to get a little bossy, once telling one of the Camp Counsellors that she was a teacher and they had to let her do her job. Oh well, practice makes perfect ...

She was quite excited (and nervous) to go this morning and on her own initiative she went to hunt up some "little kids" books to share with the pre-schoolers before we left home. Although I commiserated with her because she could only find two, I was actually quite happy as she had only recently allowed us to get rid of such books.

The two she found included one on keeping your teeth healthy and clean and a Clifford, The Big Red Dog book. Seemed like good choices. But when the Blue Jay proudly showed them to the Camp Director, she was told that they could probably only read one of the books to the children. She responded to my questioning look by telling me that they couldn't use the Clifford book, which had a Christmas theme. They "had to be careful because not everybody celebrates Christmas".

After mentally rolling my eyes and stifling a sigh, I casually mentioned that it was funny how times change. I was brought up as Jehovah's Witness and thus, never celebrated Christmas or any of the holidays as a child. But that no one really cared. We simply coloured different pictures or read different books. I neglected to mention to her that at the daily singing of 'O Canada" and recital of 'God Save the Queen' we were told to leave the classroom and wait quietly in the hall. With threats of severe punishment from our parents if we weren't quiet or showed any signs of disrespect.

The funny thing is it never had any effect on my psyche. In fact, the other students often expressed jealousy, they too wanted to go stand in the hallway. And not once did it occur to our parents (or ourselves) to commence a court action or complain about the matter in any way. How ridiculous would that be? After all, it was our (or perhaps more accurately) our parents' choice for us not to participate.

It strikes me that if we are so worried about the feelings of people from other cultures and other religions, we might be doing a better service to all if we attempted to expose our children to the differing religious beliefs, if any, of all the children in the group. What a great chance to learn about something different. But no, we wouldn't want to do that. Instead we will do our best to make our society completely secular.

Or at least that's what we say we are doing ... in reality, the child who ever brought in a book setting out their differing religious beliefs would likely be praised and exalted for the day. Which would be okay with me, if we gave fair time to them all. Including our own.

From one extreme ... to the other ...

Equal Opportunity Bashing

I must admit that I found it passing strange when I read about John McCain rejecting the political endorsement of an influential Texas evangelist whom he had actively courted after an audio tape surfaced in which the preacher stated that God had sent Adolph Hitler to help the Jews reached the promised land.

Strange because, even though it's most definitely not of the same calibre of connection as that to a preacher who has been your family's minister for 20 years, who has officiated at your marriage and baptized your children .. .still, you would think one might more closely check out those whose political endorsement they actively seek.

And without question Hagee's views - such as referring to the Roman Catholic Church as "the great whore" and linking Hitler to the Catholic Church, suggesting that it helped shape his anti-Semitism - were pretty well-known even before McCain accepted his endorsement.** Oh yeah, and let's not forget the bit about Hurricane Katrine being God's retribution for homosexual sin. Thrown in just for good measure, I suppose.

I have no particular problem with McCain, no axe to grind with him. And just for the record I am neither Catholic nor am I completely "okay" within homosexuality. But I do find it a trifle odd that I have yet to see anyone making much "hay" about McCain's gaffe. Or perhaps they have and I have just been fortunate enough to miss that particular slimy side of the blogosphere and the mainstream media. In which case, all I can say is 'Lucky me!'.

But you know, I think it was the very last line in this story that disturbed me most of all.

McCain has tried to distance himself from Hagee’s views, saying he strongly condemned anti-Catholic rhetoric. Yet he never rejected the endorsement.

"I’m glad to have his endorsement," he said on ABC’s This Week in April. "I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything."

"Condenm remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything"? Really??

Wow, if it weren't for the calibre (or lack thereof) of his competition, that would seriously make me reconsider casting my vote for someone to hold an elected office, in any capacity, let alone as President of the United States. I mean it's not like it's important for our politicians to actually believe in anything, is it?

** Of course, if Hitler was actually sent by God and if the Catholic Church did help shape Hitler's hatred for the Jews, wouldn't that mean "the great whore" is actually God's instrument, too? And, just speaking out of curiosity here, I wonder where Hagee was inculcated with his anti-Seminite views. At the same Catholic Church, perhaps?