Still Reeling

I really shouldn't be here. The hour is late ... very late ... and I have to work tomorrow. But that is what happens when you spend a couple of hours floating around the internets, reading and responding to tributes to a man you've never even "met". But that you knew so well. Oh well, something tells me sleep will be a might bit difficult tonightt this morning anyway.

It's been over 7 years since I first discovered Lex's. 7 years of reading, laughing, crying and arguing. Of being entertained. Of being educated. Of being very, very educated. 7 years in which I became part of an international online family - a large majority from the US, it's true, but also from around the world.

Anyone who has read here any amount will have seen many items borrowed from Lex's  over the years (as was the previous post), usually marked with a tip of the hat and numerous posts interspersed here and there (more so in the past, I am sad to say) where I directed you back to his place. Had I thought of it, I could have, probably should have created a label that simply read "Lex".

Once, I even left him some advice. Here. He dropped by to thank me, which I thought was awful neighbourly of him.

I haven't been to his blog so much lately. I haven't been to any of my favourite blogs much lately, including my own. It's about all I can do to keep at least some content going on the special needs blawg. But I always managed to still drop by Lex's occasionally,

I no longer drop in numerous times a day, no longer read all the comments for each post and engaged in playful banner or thoughtful conversation with the others. But I did drop by occasionally, skimmed the posts, stopping to read with absorption those where he discussed my favourite topic - flying.

When I dropped by this morning, I saw this post from Whisper at the top of the page, with close to 200 comments noted on it. What? It couldn't mean ... I clicked on the comments to no avail, kicked off the page as sometimes happen when there is simply too much traffic. With a frown, I went on to other things, knowing I would return later and try again. Busy, busy day. Busy, busy week.

I did make it back a few hours later, clicked on the comments again, which were now up to about 350 (I see they are up to 686 now) ... I scrolled through them without reading ... what the hell? And then posted a quick comment, please tell me this isn't what I think it is, supplied my personal email address. Once again went on my way. But I really didn't feel so good. When I checked my email awhile later I had 5 different emails ... some from people I knew, some I didn't (or at least not by their real names). Yes, they said. Yes, it's true.  His plane crashed. Into the side of a building. A few links were left to news stories. I still haven't read them.

When I sat down, I intended to make this short, very short. I knew I couldn't go to bed without saying something but thought I could make a short comment and save more for another day. I think it's now time for that short comment ....

But what do you say about a man who was always the consummate gentlemen? Extremely intelligent, but never coming off as one of "those" people. Who had a gift for writing far beyond any I've seen. Don't believe me? Try Rhythms. [As an aside, I always suspected that young pilot who had such difficulty landing at night was Lex ... he pretty much confirmed that once upon a time.]

He was sweet. He was funny. He had his beliefs, as we all do. But he articulated his so well, that whether or not you shared them, you respected him. He had an amazing sense of honour and duty. He loved his country and served it well. Right to the end. But he loved his family even more. That fact always came shining through. He held himself to a very high standard. And yet always seemed willing to grant another some slack.

And he ran one of the few places in the blogsphere where there could be intelligent, insightful conversations (often among people who disagreed) that never denigrated into those swear-filled internet debacles we're all so familiar with. He simply would not have it at his house. And he garnered enough respect amongst his readers, that it rarely was an issue. Although on occasion, he did see the need to tell us to settle down. To attack the message, if we must, but not the messenger. Because we're all friends here. Funny how he only had to speak once and that was enough.

And yet, when trolls came by, it was a spectacle to watch - without ever attacking the messenger, they were very quickly put in their place. At which point, they generally decided to exit. Stage left. Which reminds me, he wrote a great post on trolls once upon a time...

He threatened to leave us once or twice, when life became too overwhelming (as it does for us all) but we would have none of it.

He gave us the Flight Deck ... where the longest running coversation on health care ever hosted by a naval aviator was held.

I did some searching through Neptunus Lex to find some of the links above. Came across posts that brought a smile to my face. Then a tear to my eye.

There's only one problem, you see. I don't really believe he's gone.

I actually think that might be an occupational hazard of having close internet friends, ones whom you rarely or never actually see in person. A close friend passed away last year. We met once for a wonderful weekend in Oxnard. But I knew her for ... I have no idea ... over 10 years online. We laughed and cried and supported one another through some of the most intimate, personal time in our lives, those involving the health issues of our children.

And yet, much as with Lex, I don't think it's ever actually sunk in for me. That she's. Really. Gone.

Fair winds and following seas, Captain. And thank you for all you've given us. Words are totally inadequate to express my sympathy to your family. I occasionally wondered over the years if his wife knew how lucky she was. But I know. She does.

I can see Lex's son carrying on in the Navy in his father's footsteps, throwing himself all the more into that life in the wake of this tragedy. But I can't see the future for his wife and two daughters. Daughters need a father and I will pray a wee extra bit for one of them. Wives need a husband. We often thanked her for sharing him, now all we can offer are our condolences. Just words but they're sincere.

Now That's An Apology

Frenemies

Wow, check this out - a man who was upset that a Tennessee couple unfriended his adult daughter has been charged with killing the couple.

Now I know there's got to be more to the story than this but ... I'm thinking you might want to think twice before you click that Confirm button, if you know what I mean.

These Are The Families We Fight For

I've never had much use for reality TV.  Always said that if I wanted to see reality, I would look out the window. Or even around my own living room.

So here's a new kind of reality TV. Are you up for it?

It's powerful. Very, very powerful. A must see.

But don't take my word for it.



This family didn't post this video to garner your sympathy. That I know.

Empathy, yes. Sympathy, no.

But, even more important, they we desperately need to open our eyes to the family lives of so many people. Our neighbours. Our co-workers..

People who still get up in the morning. Make breakfast for all their children. (Try to) go to work. Come home to relax with friends And then. Deal. With. Everything. Else.

They are our children. They are our lives.

Heartbreaking

UPDATE: Today, Monday, January 23, 2012 is the first annual International Day of Mourning, born out of Dave's original blog post featuring this video. Spread the word, please.

 

The video speaks for itself when it comes to the issue of institutionalization.

The only comment I might make that many, many years ago (longer than this video might portray), the world was a very different place. Without even the often sadly-lacking services that we have now. For the parents that made that decision in those times, they don't need to be characterized this way.

Of course, that, in no way, justifies the money governments continue to pour into institutions (including the building of new ones) for the current generation. Because that ... Is. Just. Wrong.

H/T to Dave at Rolling Around in My Head via Ashely's mom at Pipecleaner Dreams

Blog Fodder

I thought this was an interesting article considering the trouble I got into over in the comment section at Lex's once upon a time.

I'm just saying ...

UPDATE:  In the interests of fairness, Lex had some interesting follow up thoughts on the subject. Way back in the way back.

Never Say Never

Untitled from Nep Lex on Vimeo.

He flies again!

When I first started hanging out at Lex's I asked him once in comments whether he had ever considered flying for an airline, it appearing that his fighter pilot days were over. Not that I worded it quite that way, of course!

Anyway, he replied no, he thought he would never fly again. Having once partaken of government-sponsored crack cocaine there was no going back (or down?) to mere commercial flight.

But, as life turned out, a few years later, he took on a weekend job flying tourists and other assorted types in dog-fight flights in these babies. With the occasional  learn-to-fly jaunt thrown in for good measure.

A few years after that, he decided to learn how to pilot taildraggers, whatever they might be.

And now, in his own way, he's back in the fighter pilot game.

Which just goes to show you. Never. Say. Never.

What`s That You Say

Come on. I double dog dare you.
Try it. Forget twenty times.
Just once. As fast as you can.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

GO AHEAD. FINISH IT. IF YOU DARE

Science Gone Mad

UPDATE: Pogue made some good points in a comment and finding it a little unwieldy to include all the links in a comment, I decided to go the update route.

So first, Pogue's comment:

OK, not having seen what the original research proposal was it's difficult to say what funding was specifically approved for. As I read the article, the form of H5N1 they worked with is not contagious to humans, so I don't know how it was made "more deadly" other than for headline effect. I doubt that the proposal was to make it an airborne pathogen. In my circles that is referred to as "weaponizing a virus" and I'm not surprised that there is discussion about classifying it. The technique is the issue, not the specific result. When we get into a "government shouldn't have funded that research" argument be careful what you wish for - almost any research may have some potentially dangerous applications, so we shouldn't support stem cell or HIV related research, right?

First, let me say, that for me, personally, the issue of who financed the research is much less of an issue than that scientists intentionally set out to do this. [See my previous comment re: just because you can do something doesn't mean you should actually do it.]  Although, I must say, seeing who the backer was does make me stop and shake my head more than a little bit.

Moving on, I think I see where/why you got the idea that this specific strain of H5N1 is not "contagious to humans". Unfortunately, the quote was a little misleading.

The researchers, led by Albert Osterhaus of the Erasmus Medical Centre in the Netherlands and Yoshihiro Kawaoka of the University of Wisconsin, mutated the H5N1 strain of avain flu, which could not be transmitted between humans, to an "airborne" strain that can be transmitted in coughs and sneezes between laboratory ferrets, the best animal model of human flu.

What they were (rather badly) trying to say was that (prior to the present research) this strain of the virus was not transmittable between humans - from coughs or sneezes. However, although it's ability to infect humans was limited (transmission required direct contract with either infected poultry or contaminated surfaces) it has proven to be deadly when it does. In fact, you might recall back in 1997, when it spread through live-poultry markets in Hong Kong to humans, killing 6 of 18 infected people. So far, on average, it's killed roughly 60% of the humans it has infected. You can find a list of the confirmed human cases and mortality ratehere.

So as far as I am concerned both the technique and the result are the problem. I don't know whether they started out with the intention of "weaponizing the virus" (frankly, I have no idea what they might have been thinking at that point) but that certainly does appear to be the result.

I must admit I can't quite follow your comment about not supporting stem cell or HIV research because almost any research can have potentially dangerous applications. From what I know about stem cell research, the only down side is that some individuals have used aborted fetuses to harvest infant stem cells. Putting aside the fact that adult stem cells are suppose to work just as well (if not better, in most cases), I see that as a problem with how people choose to use new scientific knowledge as opposed to a problem with the research itself. And, quite frankly, I can't quite get my head around what you might be thinking about with HIV research.


Could somebody please explain this to me?

But, please, speak real slowly ... because you're going to have to work really hard to make me understand, let alone accept, this one.

A new report out Tuesday claims Dutch scientists have created a highly contagious, airborne form of the bird flu, which could potentially be capable of killing millions.

Unlike the normal H5N1 strain of avian influenza - which was only contagious through close personal contact with an infected person - this form can be spread by merely coughing or sneezing.

The lab-created bird flu strain was engineered by a team of scientists led by Ron Fouchier of Rotterdam's Erasmus Medical Centre. The researchers said the mutation only required a few variations to the original strain.

But wait ... it gets better!

The research was funded by ... wait for it ... the United States National Institutes of Idiocracy Health.  And ... and for the piece de resistance... officials of that same government have begged requested researchers not to release information concerning the virus to the scientific community.

Because ... you know ... if they did, well, maybe, just maybe, some terrorist group might get ahold of it. And you know, kill us all. The theory of unforeseen consequences always being at play and all.

But, hey, don't take my word for it.

The decision was made after the US government warned releasing the details could be kill millions of people if it was used as a weapon of biological warfare.

Of course, freedom of speech and scientific integrity being the laudable constructs they are, the idiots scientists involved have expressed concern "about withholding potentially important public-health information from responsible influenza researchers".

As to the justification for that concern - apparently, "many scientists within the influenza community have a bona fide need to know the details of this research in order to protect the public, especially if they currently are working with related strains of the virus".

Right, that.

And yet it seems rather self-obvious that there would be a lot less need to know and a lot less to protect the public from if this particular virus hadn't been so painstakingly created in the first place.

I mean just because you can do something ... does that always mean you should?

Just for giggles, I note that the scientific community isn't all that impressed with the request to have the research information withheld; first, because they note that, perhaps,the government ought not to have authorized the research if they did not know how to deal with it and, secondly, it's all a little too late considering that several details had already been shared with hundreds of researchers and governments in open meetings.

So, has everybody had their flu shot for this year?

A Very Unmerry Christmas

Sifting through my email this morning, I came across this story.

This story that almost defines words.

A 9-year-old autistic boy who misbehaved at school was stuffed into a duffel bag and the drawstring pulled tight, according to his mother, who said she found him wiggling inside as a teacher's aide stood by.

The mother of fourth-grader Christopher Baker said her son called out to her when she walked up to him in the bag Dec. 14. The case has spurred an online petition calling for the firing of school employees responsible.

"He was treated like trash and thrown in the hallway," Chris' mother, Sandra Baker, said Thursday. She did not know how exactly how long he had been in the bag, but probably not more than 20 minutes.

And just what did this young boy do to ... deserve ... such treatment, you may ask?

Baker said when school officials called the family to pick him up, they were told he was "jumping off the walls." Days later, at a meeting with school officials, Baker said she was told the boy had smirked at the teacher when he was told to put down a basketball, then threw it across the room.

But don't fret, gentle reader. All will be fine. After all, the matter is being ... investigated.

Mercer County schools Interim Superintendent Dennis Davis said confidentiality laws forbid him from commenting.

"The employees of the Mercer County Public Schools are qualified professionals who treat students with respect and dignity while providing a safe and nurturing learning environment," Davis said in a statement.  

And there is, of course, legitimate reason for using a duffel bag in such a manner.

At a meeting with school district officials, the bag was described as a "therapy bag," Baker said, though she wasn't clear exactly what that meant. She said her son would sometimes be asked to roll over a bag filled with balls as a form of therapy, but she didn't know her son was being placed in the bag. She said school officials told her it was not the first time they had put him in the bag.

After all, it's not like this sort of thing occurs on a regular basis.

A July letter from the state agency to special education directors said the state had investigated two informal complaints this year.

In one, "a student (was) nearly asphyxiated while being restrained," and in the other, a student vomited from panic attacks after spending most of an academic year "confined to a closet, with no ventilation or outside source of light," according to the letter.

So. What are we to make of this?

In Kentucky, there are no laws on using restraint or seclusion in public schools.

I'm not aware of any "time out" bags being used in Nova Scotia, but we're all very aware what can happen time out rooms aren't regulated. Or, sometimes, even when they supposedly are.

It boggles the mind to think that such a thing could happen in the US, of all places, with their plethora of safeguards against just such abuse.

The woman who started a petition in this matter, herself autistic, stated "That would not be wrong just for an autistic student. That would be wrong to do to anyone".

Might I suggest that the only statement that need be made (if any) is that such a thing should not be done to any student. Ever. Period.

This is not just a lawsuit waiting to be filed. It's a lawsuit begging to be filed.

'Autism Night Before Christmas'

Disability is a part of my life. A part of my family's family.

Or, put another way, overcoming challenges is a part of my life. A part of my family's life.

So when I came across this little gem on 5 Minutes for Special Needs (a spot I make it to far too rarely lately), I just had to share. Because it's something I think just about any parent of  a challenged child, be they autistic or not, can relate to.

Twas the Night Before Christmas

And all through the house

The creatures were stirring

Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract

The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift
The right color
And style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?

Our relatives come
But they don’t understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.

“He needs discipline,” they say
“Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent…”
And on goes the attack

Now go read the rest of it. Please.

And  a Very Merry Christmas to you all.

Christmas Miracle

I believe.

You might recall (well assuming I have any semi-regular readers left, that is) that a little over a year ago my husband lost his job of 15 years.

Which might lead one to question what, exactly, would happen a year later when his EI benefits ran out. Well, that's exactly what we were wondering too. Especially considering I only* work part-time and it was a struggle to keep it afloat even with EI.

But then this past Friday (the very last day for his EI claim), he started a new job. Hence the name of this post.

Now is that timing or ... a miracle?

True enough, it's not much more than minimum wage pay but it's full-time and we're certainly not complaining. In fact, we're actually doing a little (extremely fiscally-responsible) celebrating.

And I'm happy to say that I've taken up a new hobby now too. Nope, you will never guess .... Breathing! I know, who would have thunk it? Breathe in ... breathe out ... nice deep breaths. (Thanks, Pogue!)

So now that I can actually breathe a teeny tiny bit and seeing as how we were just speaking of celebrating, I was wondering if maybe I should decorate ye olde blog a little for Christmas. I mean I always do every other year, right?

So, let's see, maybe if I put this here and move that there and buy a new ...

* Although it feels like pretty much full-time + trying to get this new business off the ground. What between the paperwork, the workshops, the two-day "Core Training" ... gee, I have the feeling I'm forgetting something but I can't for the life of me remember .... Oh yeah, right! Then there's the whole actual running the business part!