Wednesday, October 8, 2008

My Not-So-Little Bus Driver

Made the good choice of taking the family out to Camp Aldershot a few weeks back for their open house. Aldershot, apparently more properly known as "Land Force Atlantic Area Training Centre Aldershot", is, they say, is a training facility for Land Force Atlantic Area of Canadian Forces Land Force Command. And to think I always thought of it as just our local Army base.

Anyway, the open house was a good day, with a lot of interesting stuff to see and after four hours we still hadn't got through it all. But what turned out to be one of the most interesting parts came at the very end of the day when we reached the Cadet area.

Army Cadets and Air Cadets, take your pick. Not much of a choice really, given that when we walked through the Army Cadet area no one even spoke to us as opposed to going through the Air Cadets, where I was really blown away by these kids. They were so excited about what they were doing that they literally beamed. At every table, my youngest was asked the same question "How old are you?" immediately followed hard on her answer with the excited "Did you know you are old enough to be an Air Cadet?". Well, let's just say that if she didn't, she figured it out pretty quick.

Add that enthusiasm to the fact that the first thing the girls were offered to do when they walked in the drill hall was fire a rifle and, yeah, you guessed it ... I am now the proud parent of an Air Cadet.

Well, perhaps more accurately, the proud, frustrated, amused parent of an Air Cadet. Frustrated because she is so excited and hyped each week when she gets home from Cadets, that it's quite a struggle to get her to bed. No matter how often I remind her how late it is and that she does have school tomorrow. And frustrated and amused to see her try to polish boots for the very first time. To a military shine, no less. Practice makes perfect or so they say and for her sake, I hope they're right. And, I must admit, quite proud the first time I saw her in her uniform (the summer dress version with the shirt and tie).

But tonight, for the first time, I saw her in her winter uniform. Blue pants, blue sweater, blue belted jacket, blue parka, blue wedge. Now I am pretty well accustomed to the ribbing the Air Force takes from the Navy, not the least of which involves them being *fondly* referred to as "bus drivers". But tonight when I stepped back and took a critical look at my daughter, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

She did. She really did look for all the world like a bus driver. I could swear I've seen that uniform (minus the wedge, of course) on some local transit workers.

My daughter. The bus driver. Just how much prouder could a mother's heart be?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Chicken ~ Meet Head

When things are going well, all seems relatively right with the world, I blog. I blog then because I actually like to blog, I really enjoy it.

When things aren't going well, when things are really bad, it may take a while but I find that I will generally tend to blog about at least some of it. Not so much because I want to but because I need to.

So what does it mean when I haven't blogged for a whole week?
Geez, I'm not entirely sure except I think it might be a matter of Chicken ... Meet Head!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Democracy And All That

The Year: 1758

The Place: Halifax, Nova Scotia

The Event: The Birth of Democracy in Canada

Pretty cool, no?
Well, I thought so, but apparently they didn't quite get it.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Frustration

What's one of the worst things you can do to a person living with dementia?

How about changing the environment? The total living environment, unexpectedly, without any notice.
More than anything else, people with dementia in residential care need to feel safe, secure, occupied, at home and connected to their former lives."

Ms McCann said that in what for these residents is a frightening and sometimes bewildering world of much uncertainty, they need to be helped negotiate a familiar environment that is supportive, makes sense and resonates of home.
Think of it this way ... what if a giant hand were to suddenly and unexpectedly reach down into your home, pick you up and plop you down in a different home? Oh sure, the new "home" may be just as adequate to your needs on an objective basis as the old one but ... how well do you think you would cope?

I can't really blame the hospital. Much as I might like to. I mean Mom has been moved to about six different rooms in just under three months. But I know they are just doing what they need to do. And one of the moves was caused by a shift of the majority of the inpatient units from one floor to another in order to facilitate renovations.

But. This last move. Believe it or not, words fail me ...

Mom has been doing so well mentally for the past month. Quite frankly, we didn't expect her to make it through the summer. She had been losing the battle with MS (multiple sclerosis) over the past year. Struggling with the dementia. And then diagnosed with cancer this past February. She had lived with us for a little over a month in the early summer. But about a month after going into the hospital in the beginning of July, she was doing very poorly. And the doctors told us to expect maybe another week or two.

But once again she bounced back. At first it seemed like she would recover when company would come, only to crash hard each time afterwards. But for the past month, mentally, she has been doing so well.

When I was up to see her yesterday morning ... it was one of those times of really having Mom back again. I really miss my Mom, even though I see her every day. I miss her because even though I physically see her, I can't talk to her the way I use to. As my Mom. To really discuss things with her. The good. The bad. The worrisome. But yesterday, she was so right on.

Then I got a phone call in the afternoon. Mom wanted them to call and tell me that they had moved her to another room. Quite frankly, I really didn't think that much about it. Just another room move. So I wasn't planning on going up that night but when I unexpectedly found myself near the hospital that evening, I decided to drop up.

I was very glad I did. And left there very upset.

If Mom had been an 8 or 9 mentally on a scale of 1 -10 that morning, she was a 3 that evening. The move down the hall had taken that much out of her. In her former room, she was next to the window. There are two patients in each room and we are always pushing for a "window seat". Because when you are in there for the long-term, being by a window can make a huge difference. Especially if your roommate who has the window likes to keep the curtain between the two beds closed.

Well, this had been one of the better rooms Mom had had. Right by a window which looked out on a small garden set in the middle of the hospital buildings. She had a beautiful view of roses and bushes out that window. And of course, the ledge to put pictures and plants on. Plants which could actually grow. Because they were next to a window. I had bought her a beautiful cyclamen and brought in a couple of African violets she had been growing in her own little house. And they loved that window.

So. New room. Next to the door, not the window. All her stuff packed up and shoved in the closet. And Mom terribly sad and confused. I felt her frustration. It was like a physical presence. It became my frustration. And it seemed like the best, the only, thing I could find to help her was to tell her that no matter where they put her, I would always find her. That was guaranteed a small smile and she would respond "Yes, I think you're right".

I did my best to reassure her. To put some of her stuff back out. To tell that she would get use to the new room and would feel better in a few days. And hoped that I was right.

When I went back up today, she was a little better. A little. But she still had this air of sadness and confusion about her. And I wasn't there more than five minutes when she started falling asleep. Which is something she does in phases. So even though I know that it doesn't necessarily "mean" anything, it still hurts. Because it leaves me with a sense of loss, a sense that she is slipping away from me yet once again.

My brother is suppose to be back for a visit next week. And it's highly likely that she is simply "recharging her batteries" as we tell the Blue Jay. Conserving her energy until he comes. I hope so. I pray it's so.

But once again, I walked out of that hospital with some a palpable sense of frustration. Of sadness and loss. Of wanting to have someone to strangle, but no one being there.


Just Because I Can

And I think it's kind of cool.



Just remember ... it's better to die than to look bad. Or, apparently, in this case, sound bad.

Funny though, I don't remember ever actually seeing this. Anyone?

H/T to Cardoso at Lex's

Tit For Tit .. For Tat

First it was an attempt to ban a 'pro-life' t-shirt at a Virginia high school [circa 2004].

Then a teenager was in trouble for a t-shirt where the words, "International Terrorist" framed President Bush's picture. [Also circa 2004]

Now an 11-year-old Colorado fifth grader has been suspended from school for wearing a t-shirt to school that read, "Obama a terrorist's best friend". Oh yeah, did I mention that dad intends to sue?

Debate the legal ramifications all you want but ... Why Can't We All Just Get Along?!1!

H/T to R. Enochs, Esq and The Volokh Conspiracy

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Politics of Pre-Natal Screening

I have intentionally avoided much comment on the US election. Trying to be a good neighbour and all. After all, it's really not my business (other than as an affected observer) and it's all too divisive anyway.

Until today, that is. My attention grabbed by the headline, "U.K. Mother Murders Daughter Because "Embarrassed" by Disability", I really didn't expect to find much more than the usual macabre story of a parent unable to "cope" with their child's disabilities. Takes all kinds to make the world go around, as they say. Too bad it's the innocent children who pay the price.

I certainly didn't expect this particular political spin.
This trial, which is still in progress, comes during a week in which the devaluation of children with disabilities has been very much in the media spotlight, thanks largely to Gov. Sarah Palin's much publicized decision to carry to term her son Trig, who has Down's syndrome.

Prominent bioethicist Wesley Smith recently commented on the media bias against Palin, and says it occurs in part because, "Palin is viewed as 'the other,' symbolized by her and Todd's (Palin's husband) loving acceptance of Trig."

Smith said he hopes that the unconditional love the Palin's show to their son Trig will be an example for a world that is evermore justifying murder of the innocent.

"I hope that people will decide to emulate the Palins in their unconditional acceptance and love for their beautiful son, Trig," said Smith.
Well, gee, I hope so, too. But, I'm still not sure I see the connection. Fortunately, Patricia E. Bauer's blog makes it a little clearer:
Andre Lalonde, executive vice president of the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada (SOGC), says he is concerned that abortions in the case of Down syndrome may decline as women follow the example of Sarah Palin. Palin’s infant son Trig was born after she received a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome.

From the Globe and Mail:

As a vocal opponent of abortion, Ms. Palin’s widely discussed decision to keep her baby, knowing he would be born with the condition, may inadvertently influence other women who may lack the necessary emotional and financial support to do the same, according to Lalonde.

Dr. Lalonde said that above all else, women must be free to choose, and that popular messages to the contrary could have detrimental effects on women and their families.
Things that make you go Hmmm. Is it possible ... could it at all be related to this?

Yes. Yes, it could. And it goes something like this. Last year, the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada and the Board of the Canadian College of Medical Geneticists issued a recommendation that all pregnant women be offered screening for Down syndrome. Sounds good, right? Until you consider the fact that statistics point to over 90 per cent of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome being terminated.

Which leads to the question of just what exactly parents whose pre-natal screening show that their child will have Downs Syndrome are being told. And perhaps more importantly, what aren't they being told?

It's one thing to say that "It is estimated that 90 percent of women in Canada who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome decide to abort their pregnancies". But it's completely another matter to ask how informed and real that choice really was.

I must confess that when I was first put on to this issue earlier this year by the Nova Scotia Down Syndrome Society, I had trouble seeing a real issue. Until I stopped to actually think about exactly what type of information was being provided to parents as part of this screening service.

It's no real secret that doctors generally paint a very dark picture of life with Down syndrome during prenatal diagnoses. In fact, it's this very situation which has led to the Canadian Down Syndrome Society challenging the ethical implications of the recommendations by the obstetricians’ group. And to the currently circulating Petition for a Prenatal Diagnosed Condition Awareness Act. A Petition I have wrote more extensively about here.

Now let me make two things clear here.

First of all, unlike some of the commentors here, I don't believe that this is an issue of 'socialized medicine'. No matter how fun and easy it is for our American friends to go there in a hurry. After all, the best defence is a good offence, as they say. But that would likely serve as better fodder for another blog post.

No, I see this is an issue facing many different countries with different health care systems today. And I think these doctors are, for the most part, motivated by what they feel is 'doing the right thing'. Not so much for the sake of the health care system or the the cost to society, but for the parents.

The poor, poor parents.

Remember, it wasn't that many years ago when (nearly) all challenged children (be it physically or mentally) were placed in institutions immediately at birth. As societal values slowly change and technology rapidly advances, many (including the medical professionals) are left scrambling to play catch up. Some, perhaps, at a quicker pace than others.

Secondly, I am not for one minute advocating that every woman pregnant with a child with Down syndrome, or any other disability for that matter, should be or is obliged to carry that child to term. We all need to remember that as a society we have a hell of a long way to go in providing proper support and services for individuals with disabilities and their families. It is not an easy row to hoe, not always an easy life to live. And yet many, many will share you with the positive ways their child has impacted not just their life, not just their family's life but the lives of all those they touch.

But here's the thing ... if we believe in a right to "choose", if we are ever going to give more than lip service to that concept, we must never forget that the key word is choice. As in making that extra effort to ensure that the choices are promoted in a fair and valid manner. Which means giving giving people all the information they need to such a life-altering choice.

But getting back to Sara Palin, in the words of Krista Flint, executive director of the Canadian Down Syndrome Association:
“We know overwhelmingly the message families get is ‘Don’t have this baby, it will ruin your life,’” Flint says. “And I don’t think people would look at Sarah Palin and see a ruined life. Regardless of politics, I think it’s a good example.”
So love her or hate her (and God knows there's enough of both swirling around the blogosphere), you have to give Ms. Palin credit where it's due ... she might just be bringing into light an issue that has for too long been in the shadows. And that, no matter what your political persuasion, has to be a good thing.

As an aside, it's interesting to note that Dr. Lalonde has apparently attempted to clarify his previous remarks. According to the L.A. Times,
Doctor Lalonde's point of view should not have been portrayed as a concern that the number of abortions would decline but rather, as expressed in the Globe and Mail, that women would be influenced by Gov. Palin's decision to keep Down syndrome children that they were neither emotionally nor financially prepared to care for.
Which is a good thing, I suppose. Particularly when you consider that one of the principal precepts taught all physicians is "First Do No Harm".

Update: Just in case anyone continues to labour under the false belief that this is a 'socialized medicine' issue. It could just be that Canadian doctors are being more up-front about it, is all.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Interesting Take

I've always liked this song, despite it's seemingly political take.

But I found this at Pipecleaner Dreams this morning and it made me stop and think. Even though it's hard to interpret the 'war' reference any other way, it never hurts to realize that perspective is everything.

Enjoy!



Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What He Said

About the style and substance of our federal election, after checking out the various parties' websites:

I didn’t go any further because I’ll be honest; this stuff ticks me off. It’s like kids in a playground sniping at one another. Back and forth, back and forth, each refusing to listen to the other, any reasonable discourse drowned in the din of one kid trying to top the other through volume rather than content.

Maybe that’s why Harper said Parliament was dysfunctional. Too much static, too little clarity. But here’s the funny thing; if, as Prime Minister, he’s supposed to be the guiding light and voice of reason to mediate and resolve these conflicts, can we assume then he just didn’t get the job done?

In fact, he pulled the plug because he didn’t think it was working - at least to his advantage - took his ball and went home.

Bottom line? We need a grown-up to step in and set things right because even children are taught that nonsense like this is intolerable. Attack ads and character assassination do little to define the issues for the voting public. They are essentially a distraction that occludes what’s important and it’s clear that’s exactly what this bunch wants.

I agree.

'All Things Considered, Not A Bad Deployment ...'

Great news, this!

Despite a disappointing second place finish in the Milbloggies, CPT G of Kaboom fame has much to be celebrating ... apparently as a result of the much-deserved media attention resulting when Kaboom was shut down, our favourite [former] blogger received quite a few emails from both publishers and literary agents inquiring as to whether he would like to turn his blog into a book.

I am pleased to report that our good Captain has now signed with New York literary agent William Clark and begun the hard work of revising, editing and adding to the blog material. He hopes to have it ready for publishing houses within the next few months. So how cool is that, I ask you.

For any poor, lost souls that aren't yet acquainted with Kaboom, I can only offer my deepest sympathies. And yet, thanks to Google, you have a second chance. Everything lives on ... and on... and on ... on the internets. So check it out.

And enjoy The Killers while you're at it. Gee, I've missed hearing that music.

So Congratulations, CPT G.

In the words of Kaboom frequent commentor, Grandpa ..."All things considered, not a bad deployment, a book deal and a fiancé." Except he forgot one thing, that should read ... "a book deal, a promotion and a fiance". No, not bad. Not bad at all, sir.

But our work here is not yet done. One blogger published, one to go.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Credit Bureau Pays Out ... To You?

So this is interesting.

Apparently, TransUnion credit bureau is on the hook to provide either a cash settlement or free credit-monitoring services to millions of consumers. This as a result of the settlement of a class-action lawsuit claiming that TransUnion violated state laws and the Fair Credit Reporting Act when it sold lists containing personal and financial consumer information to third parties for marketing purposes.

TransUnion, of course, denies any claims of wrongdoing on its part. Which is par for the course in the case of a negotiated settlement. But that, really, is neither here nor there.

Because consumers (this might well be you) have until September 24, 2008, to register for benefits under the settlement. As of August 22nd, about 380,000 people had registered for the credit monitoring services, cash payment, or both, out of 150 million potentially eligible consumers.

Which leaves me sitting here, wishing I was an American right at the moment. Because only consumers who had an open credit account or an open line of credit from a credit grantor located in the United States are included in the class action.
The Settlement Class is defined as: All consumers who had an open credit account or an open line of credit from a credit grantor located in the United States at any time during the period January 1, 1987 to May 28, 2008. The term “Plaintiff Settlement Class” shall include, without limitation, any classes asserted or certified in the Andrews Action and the Frey Action. Excluded from the Plaintiff Settlement Class are (a) Defendants and their predecessors, affiliates, subsidiaries, officers, directors and employees, (b) counsel for any of the Settling Parties in these Actions, and (c) any and all judges and justices assigned to hear any aspect of the Actions, along with their staff, the spouses of the foregoing and any children residing in their households.
Might that include you?

You might want to check it out.
And remember, you only have until Sept. 24th to register.

H/T to GeriLaw

Can't Wait