WTF??!!

Ever have one of those moments when your life is chugging along like normal and all of a sudden you see, hear or read something that makes you go ... WTF?!  Did I just see/hear/read that right?!

Well, it happened to me as I flipped through today's paper and, quite frankly, I didn't don't know what to make of it.

So let's play a little game and see if anyone else sees anything [glaringly] wrong with this picture?

FURUDAL, Sweden — Mike Danton played the hero in his opening game of the Swedish league.

The former NHL player, who served five years behind bars for a failed murder-for-hire plot, rushed to the aid of IFK Ore teammate Marcus Bengtsson, who was convulsing on the ice after a hard hit in Sunday's season-opener.  

~  ~  ~

According to Danton's blog, Bengtsson took a late hit with about 14 minutes left in the game against Soderhamn/Ljusne. He lay on the ice suffering convulsions for six or seven minutes.

``As his eyes continued to roll into the back of his head, his mouth finally opened a bit,'' wrote Danton, who is captain of the Swedish team. ``It was at that time that I jammed my fingers into his mouth and clawed his tongue.''

Anybody? Anybody at all?

Now don't get me wrong, I've been rather impressed with this guy for a while now. I'm not a big hockey person by any stretch of the imagination but I followed with interest the story of this former NHL player after he was released from prison for conspiracy to commit murder following an attempted murder-for-hire plot.

What grabbed my attention was that following his imprisonment, he returned to Canada and enrolled at Saint Mary's University in Halifax. Where, yes, he played hockey. But where he also committed himself to his studies, working towards a degree in psychology and maintaining an A average.

So back to today's story ... can anyone tell me what caused my jaw to fall to the floor?

Let's try this ... does anyone know any basic first aid? You know, like the kind Danton says he picked up learned in prison?

First aid for seizures is pretty basic and straight-forward.  It's not like you need any specialized skill to help in such a situation.

1.Stay calm

2.Prevent injury
During the seizure, you can exercise your common sense by insuring there is nothing within reach that could harm the person if she struck it.

3.Pay attention to the length of the seizure

4.Make the person as comfortable as possible

5.Keep onlookers away

6.Do not hold the person down
If the person having a seizure thrashes around there is no need for you to restrain them. Remember to consider your safety as well

7.Do not put anything in the person's mouth

Contrary to popular belief, a person having a seizure is incapable of swallowing their tongue so you can breathe easy in the knowledge that you do not have to stick your fingers into the mouth of someone in this condition.

8.Do not give the person water, pills, or food until fully alert

9.If the seizure continues for longer than five minutes, call 911

10.Be sensitive and supportive, and ask others to do the same

Anybody? Anybody at all?

How about the FACT that you are NEVER suppose to put anything (including your hand) in a person's mouth during a seizure?

Not only is such a move dangerous to the idiot person trying to "help" (picure somebody in the midst of a seizure suddenly chomping down on your hand and not letting go - that's right, I said Not. Letting. Go.), but it can actually harm the individual who is seizing - jaw and face muscles often tighten during a seizure and if this happens when something is in their mouth, they may break and either choke on or swallow the object or, if you're lucky, maybe they will only break their teeth.

Come on, people, the only thing you accomplish by sticking anything in a person's mouth during a seizure is to obstruct airflow, which is potentially life threatening. 

Sound like a plan, Stan Mike?

Now I know it seems like no TV producer out there in La La Land can get this straight, but still ... Really?

It's too bad, really. Dalton could have actually been helpful and useful had he turned Bengtsson on his side (as other players did later), to prevent saliva from blocking his airway and help him breathe more easily. Trust me, Mike, if the guy was having trouble breathing, it wasn't because of his tongue.

And he could have helped people with epilepsy in general by explaining to the media after the fact exactly why he HADN'T tried to put his hand in the poor man's mouth!

So tell me, please, what kind of first aid course, supposedly certifying you in "first aid response" teaches a person to "jam their fingers" into the mouth of a person convulsing and "claw their tongue"?

And how, exactly, is it possible for this story to get international coverage without anybody picking up on the fact that it was only by virtue of simple dumb luck that our "hero" didn't seriously hurt himself or the other player?

So, yeah, as I was saying ... WTF??!!