Thursday, November 20, 2008

Moments of Clarity

Ever have one of those rare (for me, at least) moments of clarity? Where it suddenly becomes oh-so-very-clear what you absolutely must do?

As I said, they are rare for me. But every once in a while, the stars do align. And I just seem to know.

I had one of those moments today. Things have been rough with Mom lately. Very. Very. Rough. In fact, a week ago last Sunday, we thought we were going to lose her. She has hung in there since (barely) but it's clear it won't be much longer now. In fact, I think even the doctors and the nurses are pretty well confused and perplexed ... every time you think this is it, well, let's just say she has a track record of coming back. Which, at some points, has been wonderful. Truly miraculous. And now. Now we just shake our heads. And look on in amazement.

Anyway, I had a chiropractic appointment today. I generally see both the chiropractor and the massage therapist on a monthly basis. About 6 years ago I fell off a couch and managed to crack a hole in the wall with my head after crashing through an end table with my shoulder (Yeah, I know, please, just. don't. ask.) and three years ago I was in a car accident. Add to that the fact that I tend to carry a large majority of my stress in my neck and shoulders and ... yeah, chiropractor and massage. Monthly.

I had a massage appointment about two weeks ago. And when I walked into the chiropractor today, I knew that as much, or more, as anything, what I really needed was a massage. Which he kindly confirmed for me. In fact, he suggested that I might want to make a massage appointment on my way out. Although they are two separate businesses, they share office space. Which is convenient.

And as I was walking out of his office into the reception area, it struck me. I knew what I needed to do.

My monthly massages needed to be weekly massages. Just for now. To get through this. And although that could be an expensive proposition, it also struck me that if Mom was okay and was aware of what my life was like at the moment, the stress I am under, she would offer to pay for my next massage. She's a big believer in massage, in fact, it was her that put me on to this particular therapist. And convinced me to go. And offered to pay for my first treatment those many years ago.

So that was what I did. Booked a massage for next week. And in my mind, I thanked my Mom. As well as whatever inside that had suddenly woken up and given me a smack up the side of the head. Because I also realized that at these times, what we (or at least I) need most is what my body seems to most quickly give up. Regular trips to the gym. Enough sleep. A few extra massages. In other words, some tender loving care.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.


Kris, in New England said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom.

I have always said that primary caregivers should pay more attention to themselves than they do. The person they are caring for is likely getting the best possible care thru them and their medical team - so who monitors the health and well-being of the primary caregiver?

No one.

I am a firm believer in doing things that make us relax on as consistent a basis as humanly possible. For me it's getting my nails done every other week. One of my dearest friends does them, so it's a guarantee that we'll spend time together. I'm her last appointment so we take our time and have fun. That and monthly pedicures.

It's especially important for people in your situation Michelle. Take better care of yourself than just about anyone else in your life at the moment. Don't ever forget about you.

MMC said...

Thanks, Kris.
Sometimes that is much easier to say than to do, I find.