Truly, Deeply, Sadly, Tired.
And although I would like to say that 'At least it's finally over', I have a feeling that in many ways, it has only just begun. At least for me.
But at least it is over for her.
As of 7:15 A.M. on Saturday, November 29, 2008.
I think I am mostly still numb at the moment. Relieved, in many ways. That she is no longer suffering, no longer literally trapped immobile in that body.
But I felt my own pain start to awaken today. It will be a huge loss in my life, that I know. One that I can't imagine ever being filled. Yet, at the same time, I feel very lucky. Lucky to have had such a wonderful Mom. Lucky that my children have had such a wonderful grandmother living literally next door for so many years.
And so, we will grieve her. And miss her. For we have no other choice. For our loss.
But I am truly deeply happy to know that when Mom opens her eyes again, she will be with my Dad. Free of that hospital bed. And he, free of his wheelchair. Both of them together again. Where they belong.
Rest peacefully, Mom. You deserve it.