Monday, November 17, 2008

More Word Play For Lexophiles

  • The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.


  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


  • She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.


  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.


  • The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.


  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'


  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'


  • A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'


  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


  • It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.


  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


  • In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.


  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


  • Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

H/T to Tera

2 comments:

Casdok said...

Very clever! :)

Kris, in New England said...

You. Are. Silly.

The one about the meat grinder - was that really necessary?? ;-)