Or so they say.
At any rate, it seems to be one that I never seem to have quite mastered. The funny thing is that I would have thought I would have by now. We went through so much with the Blue Jay when she was litttle. Uncontrolled seizures. Regression. Early intervention. Speech therapy. Neurologists. Numerous hospital stays. Respite workers. The ketogenic diet. And then one of the funnest of them all, school. Sheesh, I get tired just typing about it now.
But I would have thought, through all that, all that teaching and therapy and what-not, that somewhere in there, I would have been forced to learn to be patient. Nah, not so much.
And now I find, I think I am finally learning it. Or perhaps more aptly, I'm being forced into learning it, kicking and screaming like a spoiled child as I go. Fortunately (for the rest of the world), the majority of the kicking and screaming is going on inside my head. But I am being forced to learn to be more patient now, as I deal with mom's problems, then I ever was before.
Yes, I know how to advocate. Yes, I know how to fight the system to get what I believe somebody deserves. But somehow, somewhere, I seem to have lost my energy to do it. I think I am just burnt out. Well, they always told me it would happen.
But more than being forced to learn to be patient with the system (nah, I'm still not doing so well with that), I am learning how to be more patient with mom. To wait. And wait. And bite my tongue to stop the smart remark that is right there. Not because I'm trying to or want to be mean. But it seems to be the way I've been for a long time. Now, it's learning to take yet another deep breath. And try again.
Frankly, it kind of sucks.
But. Maybe it's just another one of those life experiences you (have to) go through to get wherever it is you are going. Or at least that's what I try to tell myself. When all else fails ... Rationalize. That's my motto. That and God never closes a door without opening a window.
Gee, it's getting a little stuffy in here. I wonder where that window is.