Thursday, January 3, 2008

'Twas The Diet After Christmas

T’was the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Not a damn thing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I’d remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies, and sauces, and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum-balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way that I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself up, in my husband’s old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt -

I said to myself, (as only I can),
“You can’t spend the winter disguised as a man!”
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, each cracker, and chip,

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
’til all the unwanted ounces have vanished!
I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick…
I’ll just have to chew on a celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie;
I’ll munch on a carrot, and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore -
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot…
Happy New Year and to all a good diet!


unkawill said...

I didn't see an attribution, so I assume you wrote this.

Good Job, Michelle!

MMC said...

Cute unka!
No, I didn't write it but I had found it last year at New Years (someone probably emailed it to me) and I had posted it then in the comment section at Lex's. So, since I know not from whence it came, I figure that's close enough to make it mine.

So tell me this, as a blogger, if someone emails you something and you use it but the person who sent it to you doesn't have a blog, do you still give a hat tip?